Prompted by an anonymous suggestion, we asked our facebook followers: “What would you do if your daughter told you she wanted an (elective) abortion?” Much discussion ensued, with many readers sharing deeply personal stories. Here are a few of our favorite responses:
Megan R.: I would remind her of the pain and anguish that MY abortion planted in my life… remind her of her lost sibling… remind her of the shame I carried around for years…remind her of the grave consequences of my actions… and then remind her that her family (including me of course) will help her and support her 100%… that she is loved and adored… and that we will work together to walk through this.
Sarah K.: I think the
discussion starts long before a girl finds herself pregnant. I can’t
imagine my daughter coming to me and saying this because I know her
views. I also have always made it clear that she can come to me, and she
will ALWAYS receive support and guidance, not judgment.
Missy W.: I’d make sure she
knew she was loved and supported and that abortion didn’t need to be an
option. My daughter saw me carry a baby with a fatal anomaly too and was
the first to want to hold her baby
sister despite knowing she passed away after birth. In our family we
live out our pro-life values every day so I hope my daughter and sons
keep the same perspective they have now.
Nicole P.: Let her know she comes from a
lineage of strong women. Great-great grandmother had 22, great-
grandmother had 7, grandmother had 6, and mom had 2 including her. Let
her know there is nothing about having this baby too hard for her that we
cannot do together. I would try to plant seeds years before this is an
option. I will show her the value of life. I would show her how people
used to devalue blacks the same way. [Editor’s note: Nicole P. is black.]
Rebecca K.: I would remind her that her birthmother chose to not abort her (she is adopted) and I would adopt her child as well.
Jena Q.: Take away EVERY single hurdle.
Remind her that strong women refuse to victimize others. Stand by her
side every step of the way. Love her. Call her tribe to stand with her.
Emily S.: My oldest daughter
is only 6, but when we start having “the talks” I plan to tell her if
she ever gets pregnant before she’s married to come to me and we’ll
figure it out together. I don’t ever want my kids to think an abortion
is the answer to cover anything up or
feel like they have to deal with stuff alone. I think for too long in
Christian circles we’ve pushed kids to abortion because we’ve made sex
outside of marriage the unforgivable sin.
Kristina F.: I would ask someone I know who
has had an abortion to speak with her after speaking to her about where
she is at emotionally/mentally with the concept of being pregnant. I’d
also support helping raise the child, and adoption. No matter if my
child is 15 or 35, adoption will be discussed. There is no shame in
Bryna B.: Give her a big hug and try to
empathize with how she’s feeling and get her to talk about exactly what
she is afraid of or thinking will happen. Then gently try and talk her
off that ledge based on where her thoughts are at to address those
fears, reminding her of our love and support.
And judging by all the likes it got, far and away the best response was…
Beth H.: I will tell you what I did. I
explained to her that she would get whatever support she needed to bring
the the child to term and gave her names of 3 couples I knew who would
love to raise her. My daughter chose to raise her daughter with us.
[Editor’s note: Beth also included a lovely photo; that’s her daughter and granddaughter at the top of this article!]