What It’s Like to Be a Secular Sidewalk Counselor

 

The author stands on a sidewalk with prenatal development education materials.

“What parish do you attend?” That’s the question I often get when someone new arrives. When I respond that I’m secular, I get a look of amazement and whispered apologies, as if their question was somehow offensive to me. It isn’t. 

I’ve been doing sidewalk counseling outside of a local abortion facility for almost two years now. I’ve gotten used to the fact I’m the least likely person you’d expect out there. After all, it seems majority of those who are pro-life tend to be of some religious background. What I didn’t expect was to be standing on the sidewalk with so few.

My greatest frustration (aside from mothers going in to terminate their babies, and dads who sit in the parking lot playing games on their phone while it happens) is the lack of involvement from those who are of faith. 

I live in a city with a population over 300,000, in a county with a population over 2 million, with over 100 churches. Yet on any given Saturday, one of the busiest abortion days, there’s usually no more than three or four people trying to reach these moms and dads with help before they go inside. On a weekday, you’re lucky if there’s one person on the sidewalk. 

When there is nobody in front of the abortion center, mothers are not made aware of the local resources for help, fathers are not encouraged to step up and save their baby, and nobody hears the truth about how destructive abortion is for all involved. I shudder to think what would have happened to those mothers who chose life on the sidewalk, if no one had been there that day.

So what can secular pro-lifers do? Get involved in sidewalk counseling. If nobody is outside at your local abortion center(s), be that person who shows up. Don’t allow yourself to feel like you have no place out there. The need for sidewalk advocates, especially secular ones, is huge! I am thankful for the small group of people who stand with me. Despite our differing religious beliefs (or lack thereof), we work together and have saved lives. 

We still have much work to do. Won’t you join us?

[Today’s article is by Christine Sorrell. If you would like to contribute a guest post, email your submission to info@secularprolife.org for consideration.]

“I’m here to listen, not to judge.” Interview with a young Catholic sidewalk counselor

Maria on the right.
Signs read “I’m here to listen, not to judge”
and “We bring hope, love, and support.”



How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?

I got started with sidewalk advocacy when I joined my pro-life student group in college: Bama Students for Life! I had learned that the abortion facility less than a mile from our campus was the busiest facility in Alabama; that fact was a big catalyst in my pro-life advocacy. At the time, the facility performed nearly 70 abortions a week. So many were being killed, and I felt I could no longer stay silent.

What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

On Saturday mornings I go to the closest abortion facility. I’ve coordinated with some friends from my church who also go, and there’s usually a handful of other local pro-lifers present, so on a regular Saturday there’s about 8–10 people out there. Because there are so many of us, we’ve gotten in the habit of splitting the group up across the sidewalk: groups of two or three will stand on either side of the entrance to the small parking lot to do outreach, and four or five people will stand a little further away to pray. Those doing outreach try to approach the people in their cars as they drive in or out. We also call out to people walking from their cars to the building, saying things like, “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through right now, but I’d like to hear your story, and I want to know if there’s any way I can help. I’ve got information about free local resources that I would love to share with you.”

What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?

For me, the most difficult thing is knowing what to say. I stumble over my words all the time, and talking to strangers makes me extremely nervous. I deal with that by trying to imagine what I would want to hear if I was the woman walking into the facility. I practice saying things to myself in the car on the way over. Obviously each person is unique, so I don’t want to sound scripted, but practicing certain phrases helps me feel more comfortable.

Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?

Yes! Lately I’ve been using the “This is not your only choice” pamphlet from Human Life Alliance. I also have several handwritten cards that I use if someone seems like they’re going to change their mind and leave; the cards list the closest local resources and include my personal phone number so they can reach out if they want to.

Do you refer people to local services? If so, what types or services? Provided by whom?

Yes — On the cards I give out I’ve list a couple different pro-life pregnancy care centers and a place that can help with housing. I also have the contact info for those places saved in my phone, along with information about what services they provide and whether they have any Spanish-speaking employees.

Do you have religious beliefs? If so, how do those influence your work? How do you handle religious differences between you and the people you meet?


I do! I’m Catholic and my faith influences my work in that I make a point to pray before, during, and after sidewalk advocacy. That said, I agree with the information in Sidewalk Advocates For Life’s training guide, which suggests the following topic progression: first, address the mother and her crisis; second, talk about her baby; and last, you could ask about her faith background (if she has one). Rehumanize International also talks about this progression under “Dialogue Tips” in our handouts here. Most women, in my experience at least, are in crisis mode. They want to know first and foremost that you genuinely care about them and you want to help them through this crisis.

How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?

I get this rarely; the vast majority of people coming into the facility I go to are there for abortion. However, I typically respond explaining there are so many other organizations that provide birth control that don’t kill human beings.

What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?

That they’re scared because the pregnancy was unexpected, or that they don’t have the finances to take care of the child.

Do you have ongoing relationships with any of the women you have met at the sidewalk? If so, what are those like?

I don’t have ongoing relationships directly, but one of the friends from church who goes with me usually stays in contact with them.

Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

I see them pretty rarely, and when I do, I struggle to know what to say beyond, “You don’t have to work here.”

Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?

I’ve witnessed my fair share of bad sidewalk advocates — so I won’t deny that they exist — but in my experience, the good greatly outnumber the bad. When I was in college, our student group made a point to try to convince other local advocates to use more loving and helpful signs. It didn’t always work. There was one man who’d carry a large sign with a swastika comparing abortion to the holocaust, and he refused to get rid of it because he had painted it himself. In those instances we distance ourselves as much as possible and carry signs like “Here to listen, not to judge.”

What do you think of buffer zone laws? Has your work been impacted by such laws?

It’s my understanding that buffer zone laws were created in response to some extreme measures taken by pro-lifers (like chaining themselves to the doors of facilities to keep people from going in). Obviously I don’t like these laws because they hinder our ability as peaceful sidewalk advocates to reach the people going in for abortion. When I started getting into sidewalk advocacy, the facility we went to was in a medical office park, so there was a large parking lot between us and the people going in. It makes it really tough to seem compassionate when you have to yell in order to be heard. There was a lot of shouting “GOOD MORNING!” those days.

What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

Expect to wait around a lot. It takes patience. But also stay prepared so you’re not caught off guard when someone actually takes the time to talk to you and needs help. Preparation is key.

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

Donate to local pregnancy centers! If you don’t have the funds, ask if they need volunteers. You can also do a lot of outreach online, in forums and on social media where many people will ask questions if they’re considering abortion. Make your pro-life stance clear to social media friends, and in a nonjudgmental way; you want to make sure they know you’re a safe person to reach out to if they ever find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. If you’re a praying type, pray for the people out on the sidewalk.

What do you believe the pro-life movement is getting right? What do you believe could be better?

I think the pro-life movement is vibrant and powerful, and that as a whole, we are most successful when we allow for a diversity of opinion on unrelated issues and focus on the human rights injustice at hand. Let’s spread information about the truth of abortion. Let’s find ways to help parents considering it and heal those who have already gone through with it. Let’s debate which political strategy is going to be most likely to truly eliminate abortion. Basically, I believe the movement would be better if it were tied less closely to specific party platforms. I know too many people who were raised in a pro-life, conservative household, grew up, realized their politics didn’t align with their parents’, and decided that for that reason they could no longer be pro-life. It shouldn’t be a partisan issue. It’s a human rights issue, and we have to remind people of that.


Read more interviews:

Sidewalk counseling training resources:

“I’m here to listen, not to judge.” Interview with a young Catholic sidewalk counselor

Maria on the right.
Signs read “I’m here to listen, not to judge”
and “We bring hope, love, and support.”



How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?

I got started with sidewalk advocacy when I joined my pro-life student group in college: Bama Students for Life! I had learned that the abortion facility less than a mile from our campus was the busiest facility in Alabama; that fact was a big catalyst in my pro-life advocacy. At the time, the facility performed nearly 70 abortions a week. So many were being killed, and I felt I could no longer stay silent.

What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

On Saturday mornings I go to the closest abortion facility. I’ve coordinated with some friends from my church who also go, and there’s usually a handful of other local pro-lifers present, so on a regular Saturday there’s about 8–10 people out there. Because there are so many of us, we’ve gotten in the habit of splitting the group up across the sidewalk: groups of two or three will stand on either side of the entrance to the small parking lot to do outreach, and four or five people will stand a little further away to pray. Those doing outreach try to approach the people in their cars as they drive in or out. We also call out to people walking from their cars to the building, saying things like, “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through right now, but I’d like to hear your story, and I want to know if there’s any way I can help. I’ve got information about free local resources that I would love to share with you.”

What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?

For me, the most difficult thing is knowing what to say. I stumble over my words all the time, and talking to strangers makes me extremely nervous. I deal with that by trying to imagine what I would want to hear if I was the woman walking into the facility. I practice saying things to myself in the car on the way over. Obviously each person is unique, so I don’t want to sound scripted, but practicing certain phrases helps me feel more comfortable.

Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?

Yes! Lately I’ve been using the “This is not your only choice” pamphlet from Human Life Alliance. I also have several handwritten cards that I use if someone seems like they’re going to change their mind and leave; the cards list the closest local resources and include my personal phone number so they can reach out if they want to.

Do you refer people to local services? If so, what types or services? Provided by whom?

Yes — On the cards I give out I’ve list a couple different pro-life pregnancy care centers and a place that can help with housing. I also have the contact info for those places saved in my phone, along with information about what services they provide and whether they have any Spanish-speaking employees.

Do you have religious beliefs? If so, how do those influence your work? How do you handle religious differences between you and the people you meet?


I do! I’m Catholic and my faith influences my work in that I make a point to pray before, during, and after sidewalk advocacy. That said, I agree with the information in Sidewalk Advocates For Life’s training guide, which suggests the following topic progression: first, address the mother and her crisis; second, talk about her baby; and last, you could ask about her faith background (if she has one). Rehumanize International also talks about this progression under “Dialogue Tips” in our handouts here. Most women, in my experience at least, are in crisis mode. They want to know first and foremost that you genuinely care about them and you want to help them through this crisis.

How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?

I get this rarely; the vast majority of people coming into the facility I go to are there for abortion. However, I typically respond explaining there are so many other organizations that provide birth control that don’t kill human beings.

What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?

That they’re scared because the pregnancy was unexpected, or that they don’t have the finances to take care of the child.

Do you have ongoing relationships with any of the women you have met at the sidewalk? If so, what are those like?

I don’t have ongoing relationships directly, but one of the friends from church who goes with me usually stays in contact with them.

Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

I see them pretty rarely, and when I do, I struggle to know what to say beyond, “You don’t have to work here.”

Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?

I’ve witnessed my fair share of bad sidewalk advocates — so I won’t deny that they exist — but in my experience, the good greatly outnumber the bad. When I was in college, our student group made a point to try to convince other local advocates to use more loving and helpful signs. It didn’t always work. There was one man who’d carry a large sign with a swastika comparing abortion to the holocaust, and he refused to get rid of it because he had painted it himself. In those instances we distance ourselves as much as possible and carry signs like “Here to listen, not to judge.”

What do you think of buffer zone laws? Has your work been impacted by such laws?

It’s my understanding that buffer zone laws were created in response to some extreme measures taken by pro-lifers (like chaining themselves to the doors of facilities to keep people from going in). Obviously I don’t like these laws because they hinder our ability as peaceful sidewalk advocates to reach the people going in for abortion. When I started getting into sidewalk advocacy, the facility we went to was in a medical office park, so there was a large parking lot between us and the people going in. It makes it really tough to seem compassionate when you have to yell in order to be heard. There was a lot of shouting “GOOD MORNING!” those days.

What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

Expect to wait around a lot. It takes patience. But also stay prepared so you’re not caught off guard when someone actually takes the time to talk to you and needs help. Preparation is key.

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

Donate to local pregnancy centers! If you don’t have the funds, ask if they need volunteers. You can also do a lot of outreach online, in forums and on social media where many people will ask questions if they’re considering abortion. Make your pro-life stance clear to social media friends, and in a nonjudgmental way; you want to make sure they know you’re a safe person to reach out to if they ever find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. If you’re a praying type, pray for the people out on the sidewalk.

What do you believe the pro-life movement is getting right? What do you believe could be better?

I think the pro-life movement is vibrant and powerful, and that as a whole, we are most successful when we allow for a diversity of opinion on unrelated issues and focus on the human rights injustice at hand. Let’s spread information about the truth of abortion. Let’s find ways to help parents considering it and heal those who have already gone through with it. Let’s debate which political strategy is going to be most likely to truly eliminate abortion. Basically, I believe the movement would be better if it were tied less closely to specific party platforms. I know too many people who were raised in a pro-life, conservative household, grew up, realized their politics didn’t align with their parents’, and decided that for that reason they could no longer be pro-life. It shouldn’t be a partisan issue. It’s a human rights issue, and we have to remind people of that.


Read more interviews:

Sidewalk counseling training resources:

Interview with a post-abortive sidewalk counselor: love, not shame, is the key

Interviewer’s note: study after study confirm many women choose abortion because they feel they don’t have the resources to care for a child. Sidewalk counselors work to connect these women to resources in their communities. This work transforms—and literally saves—lives.

People who aren’t involved in the pro-life movement (and even some within it) tend to believe that those who stand outside abortion clinics are there to shame and terrify vulnerable abortion-minded women. Interestingly, in this interview Serena discusses these very type of ultra-aggressive protestors and how they make her goalsto reassure women and get them resourcesmuch more difficult. Still, she’s tenacious.
I’m an atheist. I don’t share Serena’s beliefs about God or Jesus. But I can’t help but note how Serena’s faith encourages and emboldens her to love and support other people in difficult circumstances. It’s admirable work. (You can also read an interview with a secular sidewalk counselor here.)

Meet Serena


How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?
I got started sidewalk counseling after seeing Unplanned. I had gone to the movie not even knowing what it was about and it was like watching my life unfold before my eyes.
I was raped at 13 years old by an uncle and taken for an abortion at Ulrich Klopfer‘s clinic. For 30 years I did not talk about my abortion because it was something I wanted to forget happened. It was by far worse than my rape. I didn’t know what abortion was when I went to that clinic but once I learned, it almost destroyed my life. I nearly lost everything. My marriage was almost over, and I was using drugs and alcohol to numb my pain.
One night after drinking heavily, I texted some friends to come get me. I knew I had too much to drink and I didn’t want to end up in jail. But no one would come get me. I had burned all my bridges. I sat in my car and cried and prayed for help. That night God met me in my car and lavished me in a love that I had never felt before. I made it home and my husband welcomed me back. That began my healing process from my rape. But I never talked about the abortion.
When I saw Unplanned, I felt moved to tell the rest of my story, though I wasn’t sure how exactly. I called our local Right To Life and asked if they ever minister to women before they go to abortion clinics. They explained they were going to start training people to sidewalk counsel in response to Whole Women’s Health opening nearby. I signed right up and began going to the clinic.
It’s so important to have peaceful people at the clinic. On the day of my abortion, no one was there. I will never know if it would have made a difference in my story, but I want to make sure that people know that they can make a difference for someone else.
What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

Going to the clinic requires me to be ready to love others well. We really want to be a peaceful presence that is lead by the Holy Spirit on how to reach women. We want to love not only the mothers, fathers, and other family members but also the escorts and staff. We want to give the support so many of them are looking forin the moment, during the pregnancy, and after the baby is born.
What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?
Escorts block us with their umbrellas and play music so the women can’t hear us. We also have to deal with another group who come out with mics to “preach.” They shame the women who then run right into the clinic. There have been times when we will get the attention of a father in the car and it looks like he is going to come over and talk, but the other group will call him a coward and he instead looks down and won’t come over. They are also known to put ladders up and yell at escorts. It’s awful.
During my own abortion, I remember the clinic telling our family that there would be people outside who hated us, so make sure to walk in quickly. Groups like these who shame women confirm the clinic workers’ warnings. I’ve worked with many post-abortive women, and something I often hear is “the protesters were yelling at me and I just wanted to get away.” In contrast, I had a woman share her story of two peaceful sidewalk counselors praying. She broke away from her parents and went to them for help. She said she could sense their love and knew they were safe. 
Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?
We hand out mom bags which include local resources, a free ultrasound coupon, and info about what abortion is (and that it’s not her only choice). I personally try to put a hand written note, a bracelet, and some type of lotion or something to make her feel loved. If she returns a second day we also include abortion pill reversal information. We also try to let her know about a website (Her Michiana) that can help with many of her needs as well as resources for the dad.
Do you have religious beliefs? If so, how do those influence your work? How do you handle religious differences between you and the people you meet?
I’m a Jesus follower and that helps me love others well. When I’m at the clinic or talking to an abortion-minded woman, I talk about Jesus in a way meant to bring hope, not shame. I want her to know she is so loved. Sometimes you can tell that someone is not really interested and you can feel push back. At that point I will not talk about him, but hope they will know his love by my actions.
How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?
We have people who walk by the clinic all the time; it’s always a teaching moment to educate others on what abortion is. Some people just don’t know and we have the opportunity to have a conversation (not a debate, but a conversation). People seem more open to talking if we approach them in a non-confrontational way. 
What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?
I talk to women daily and they have shared so many reasons they come to the clinics. Some feel like they are not supported by family or the boyfriend, some think they can’t afford a baby, some are scared of Covid. Some have been told something is wrong with their baby and abortion will show “compassion.” In the case of my rape at 13 my family was told abortion would fix my trauma. It was all a lie. 
Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

I make a point of interacting with clinic staff because the Jesus I serve can reach anyone. I speak truth in love to them and pray for them. I try to reach them were they’re at.
I did befriend one of the escorts. Our first encounter did not go well. I shared my story with him and he cussed me out and flipped me off. The next week the escort was drinking a Snapple and made a face like it was terrible. I laughed and said “That bad?” and he laughed too, talked about how they changed the recipe. After that we started talking more, and he has since shared his story with me. He helps knit hats for premature babies! He has misplaced compassion that he doesn’t even understand. 
Other escorts don’t always like that he talks to me but he does it anyway. I’m going to keep showing him love and compassion. I believe it’s just a matter of time before he leaves.
Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?
Trained sidewalk counselors are not there to shame women at all. Sadly, there are people who go to the clinics to shame women and it’s hurtful and counterproductive. The women don’t realize we are different groups; they lump us together. I try really hard to separate myself from anyone who is not being peaceful. If a woman is taken there against her will I hope she looks for the people praying, not shouting. There are people who will help and love you well. 
What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

Go to the training. Make sure that you conduct yourself in a way that is loving; don’t say anything that will hurt a woman for the rest of her life. Offer her hope. Be the hope. Love her, love him, and love the baby well. They are all God’s kids. 

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

If you come across a woman who is in a crisis, meet her with love. Listen, discern, and respond. Figure out what is driving her to abortion and how to meet that need.
If you are part of a church, allow people to come in and talk about abortion. When the church doesn’t talk about abortion it sends a message that we are okay with it. Women in the church have gone from the pew to the abortion clinic because they believe people will gossip instead of help them. [See the Pastor Pledge from The Equal Rights Institute.] If you are a pastor who doesn’t know how to talk about it, invite me to speak. You can also make sure your local pregnancy centers are supported.   
Read more interviews:
Sidewalk counseling training resources:

Interview with a post-abortive sidewalk counselor: love, not shame, is the key

Interviewer’s note: study after study confirm many women choose abortion because they feel they don’t have the resources to care for a child. Sidewalk counselors work to connect these women to resources in their communities. This work transforms—and literally saves—lives.

People who aren’t involved in the pro-life movement (and even some within it) tend to believe that those who stand outside abortion clinics are there to shame and terrify vulnerable abortion-minded women. Interestingly, in this interview Serena discusses these very type of ultra-aggressive protestors and how they make her goalsto reassure women and get them resourcesmuch more difficult. Still, she’s tenacious.
I’m an atheist. I don’t share Serena’s beliefs about God or Jesus. But I can’t help but note how Serena’s faith encourages and emboldens her to love and support other people in difficult circumstances. It’s admirable work. (You can also read an interview with a secular sidewalk counselor here.)

Meet Serena


How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?
I got started sidewalk counseling after seeing Unplanned. I had gone to the movie not even knowing what it was about and it was like watching my life unfold before my eyes.
I was raped at 13 years old by an uncle and taken for an abortion at Ulrich Klopfer‘s clinic. For 30 years I did not talk about my abortion because it was something I wanted to forget happened. It was by far worse than my rape. I didn’t know what abortion was when I went to that clinic but once I learned, it almost destroyed my life. I nearly lost everything. My marriage was almost over, and I was using drugs and alcohol to numb my pain.
One night after drinking heavily, I texted some friends to come get me. I knew I had too much to drink and I didn’t want to end up in jail. But no one would come get me. I had burned all my bridges. I sat in my car and cried and prayed for help. That night God met me in my car and lavished me in a love that I had never felt before. I made it home and my husband welcomed me back. That began my healing process from my rape. But I never talked about the abortion.
When I saw Unplanned, I felt moved to tell the rest of my story, though I wasn’t sure how exactly. I called our local Right To Life and asked if they ever minister to women before they go to abortion clinics. They explained they were going to start training people to sidewalk counsel in response to Whole Women’s Health opening nearby. I signed right up and began going to the clinic.
It’s so important to have peaceful people at the clinic. On the day of my abortion, no one was there. I will never know if it would have made a difference in my story, but I want to make sure that people know that they can make a difference for someone else.
What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

Going to the clinic requires me to be ready to love others well. We really want to be a peaceful presence that is lead by the Holy Spirit on how to reach women. We want to love not only the mothers, fathers, and other family members but also the escorts and staff. We want to give the support so many of them are looking forin the moment, during the pregnancy, and after the baby is born.
What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?
Escorts block us with their umbrellas and play music so the women can’t hear us. We also have to deal with another group who come out with mics to “preach.” They shame the women who then run right into the clinic. There have been times when we will get the attention of a father in the car and it looks like he is going to come over and talk, but the other group will call him a coward and he instead looks down and won’t come over. They are also known to put ladders up and yell at escorts. It’s awful.
During my own abortion, I remember the clinic telling our family that there would be people outside who hated us, so make sure to walk in quickly. Groups like these who shame women confirm the clinic workers’ warnings. I’ve worked with many post-abortive women, and something I often hear is “the protesters were yelling at me and I just wanted to get away.” In contrast, I had a woman share her story of two peaceful sidewalk counselors praying. She broke away from her parents and went to them for help. She said she could sense their love and knew they were safe. 
Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?
We hand out mom bags which include local resources, a free ultrasound coupon, and info about what abortion is (and that it’s not her only choice). I personally try to put a hand written note, a bracelet, and some type of lotion or something to make her feel loved. If she returns a second day we also include abortion pill reversal information. We also try to let her know about a website (Her Michiana) that can help with many of her needs as well as resources for the dad.
Do you have religious beliefs? If so, how do those influence your work? How do you handle religious differences between you and the people you meet?
I’m a Jesus follower and that helps me love others well. When I’m at the clinic or talking to an abortion-minded woman, I talk about Jesus in a way meant to bring hope, not shame. I want her to know she is so loved. Sometimes you can tell that someone is not really interested and you can feel push back. At that point I will not talk about him, but hope they will know his love by my actions.
How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?
We have people who walk by the clinic all the time; it’s always a teaching moment to educate others on what abortion is. Some people just don’t know and we have the opportunity to have a conversation (not a debate, but a conversation). People seem more open to talking if we approach them in a non-confrontational way. 
What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?
I talk to women daily and they have shared so many reasons they come to the clinics. Some feel like they are not supported by family or the boyfriend, some think they can’t afford a baby, some are scared of Covid. Some have been told something is wrong with their baby and abortion will show “compassion.” In the case of my rape at 13 my family was told abortion would fix my trauma. It was all a lie. 
Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

I make a point of interacting with clinic staff because the Jesus I serve can reach anyone. I speak truth in love to them and pray for them. I try to reach them were they’re at.
I did befriend one of the escorts. Our first encounter did not go well. I shared my story with him and he cussed me out and flipped me off. The next week the escort was drinking a Snapple and made a face like it was terrible. I laughed and said “That bad?” and he laughed too, talked about how they changed the recipe. After that we started talking more, and he has since shared his story with me. He helps knit hats for premature babies! He has misplaced compassion that he doesn’t even understand. 
Other escorts don’t always like that he talks to me but he does it anyway. I’m going to keep showing him love and compassion. I believe it’s just a matter of time before he leaves.
Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?
Trained sidewalk counselors are not there to shame women at all. Sadly, there are people who go to the clinics to shame women and it’s hurtful and counterproductive. The women don’t realize we are different groups; they lump us together. I try really hard to separate myself from anyone who is not being peaceful. If a woman is taken there against her will I hope she looks for the people praying, not shouting. There are people who will help and love you well. 
What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

Go to the training. Make sure that you conduct yourself in a way that is loving; don’t say anything that will hurt a woman for the rest of her life. Offer her hope. Be the hope. Love her, love him, and love the baby well. They are all God’s kids. 

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

If you come across a woman who is in a crisis, meet her with love. Listen, discern, and respond. Figure out what is driving her to abortion and how to meet that need.
If you are part of a church, allow people to come in and talk about abortion. When the church doesn’t talk about abortion it sends a message that we are okay with it. Women in the church have gone from the pew to the abortion clinic because they believe people will gossip instead of help them. [See the Pastor Pledge from The Equal Rights Institute.] If you are a pastor who doesn’t know how to talk about it, invite me to speak. You can also make sure your local pregnancy centers are supported.   
Read more interviews:
Sidewalk counseling training resources:

Interview with a secular sidewalk counselor

Interviewer’s note: People who aren’t involved in the pro-life movement—and even some within it—tend to believe that those standing outside abortion clinics are there to shame and frighten women seeking abortion. Videos of street “preachers” screaming at everyone tend to be much more viral than depictions of people quietly holding signs offering resources. I’m interested in shining more light on the latter group. 

From what I’ve seen, the people waiting peacefully outside clinics to offer help (referred to in pro-life circles as “sidewalk counselors”) are particularly brave and compassionate. In my experience they also tend to be particularly devout Christians. I was therefore happy to get an opportunity to interview one of Secular Pro-Life’s own, Nick Reynosa, on what it’s like for an agnostic to sidewalk counsel.

Before we begin, Nick asked that I clarify that while he sidewalk counsels when he has the chance, he doesn’t counsel on a consistent basis the way some do. He didn’t want to give the false impression that he has devoted the same time and energy as some of his trainers and friends have, although he has enjoyed the experience and will continue to counsel when he has the opportunities.


(Nick in the upper right.)

How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?

My campus pro-life club (through Students for Life of America) went to the sidewalk once or twice a week. In my area of northern California, Students for Life and 40 Days for Life formed a natural partnership such that about a half dozen people would counsel regularly.

So through the pro-life club I started sidewalk counseling in Sacramento in 2011. After I left the sidewalk during one of my very first visits, the other counselors saved three babies in a single day! So that was a fortunate and very encouraging beginning.

Sidewalk counseling is a great way to help women at the one-on-one level. Often pro-lifers are discouraged by a seeming lack of political progress, but the individual victories at the sidewalk can be encouraging. You really see how you can make a difference. Also sidewalk counseling helps you get to know the flesh and blood members of the pro-life movement, which serves as a powerful contrast to the stereotypes the media portrays.

What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

I try to create a peaceful presence and provide women materials and references to local pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) (usually located in close proximity to the clinic). Not all pro-lifers at the sidewalk necessarily talk to the women; conversations are usually reserved for more experienced (and usually female) counselors. The rest of us keep a general presence, often holding signs with information, being eyes and ears in case there are any altercations, getting water or snacks for the group, and sometimes providing more security than one or two female counselors might have alone. Many of the counselors who aren’t interacting directly with the women approaching the clinic take the time to pray instead, though of course that’s not something I do personally.

Typically at least some of the women accept our information. Nearly always some passersby will hurl profanity or flip the bird. It’s common to hear street preachers mix evangelization with sidewalk counseling. It’s also common for clinic escorts to play loud music or put up barriers like tarps in order to block the women’s view of the counselors.

What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?

By far the hardest part is being a man. Successful male counselors are unicorns. Pregnancy is an intimate, personal, and deeply feminine experience. Often women associate their situation with their sex lives and this association make establishing trust and comfort with a man more difficult. Women going to the clinic often seem to feel more comfortable talking with other women, so if possible, I defer to the female counselor present.

However there are some circumstances in which it’s helpful to have a male counselor. For some women, interacting with a man who cares about what they’re going through can be a refreshing experience. And for some, having male counselors there makes them feel safe from an abusive situation. Additionally, men sometimes accompany the women in their lives to abortion appointments and end up waiting outside. Some of them find it helpful to talk to male counselors about the experience.

Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?

Yes, usually basic information about abortion and marketing materials for local PRCs. If you’re going to sidewalk counsel, I would recommend you read through these materials before you start handing them to people. Make sure you understand and agree with what you’re telling others. Some publications are particularly religious, or anti-sex or anti-contraception. Not all pro-lifers agree with those views. Usually, though, the reading material is straightforward, honest, harmless, and very helpful.

Do you refer people to local services? If so, what types or services? Provided by whom?

Yes, I usually refer to local PRCs, primarily for pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and counseling. I try to send them to the closest PRC with the highest level of medical services. It’s also common for counselors to refer to maternity homes.

It’s my impression most sidewalk counselors are fairly devoutly religious, but you’re an agnostic. How does being a secular person intersect with sidewalk counseling? Does it hinder you in any ways? Help you in others?

I think being secular can be very helpful when you’re speaking to women, because you’re presenting life-affirming resources that are religiously neutral and unlikely to come off as anti-contraception or anti-sex. I think female secular sidewalk counselors have the greatest potential of any demographic to connect with women at the clinic.

But being non-religious can be negative in two ways: (1) People tend to assume all of us at the sidewalk are from the same group or all together, which means if someone evangelizes at the sidewalk I’m held liable for everything they say, despite agreeing with probably very little of it. (2) If and when religious sidewalk counselors find out I’m agnostic, some feel the need to evangelize to me. They often believe that without faith in God, a person cannot believe in or access objective morality, and so they find a secular pro-life worldview nonsensical, and they want to debate it.

While I don’t especially want to be evangelized to, I do admire the honesty. Sometimes Christian pro-lifers will be happy to have a secular person around to show that this is not a purely religious issue, but then the same people will argue that secular morality is impossible. I’m glad to get along well with religious allies, but if they really do think my worldview is foolish, I’d rather they be honest about it than placate or tokenize me.

Overall I think the fact that I’m at the sidewalk is encouraging to some but also causes cognitive dissonance for others.

How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?

I say three things:

  1. I’m sorry if they felt we were making an assumption about why they were there. We’re just trying to provide options to women in difficult situations.
  2. If they are there for contraception services, I recommend they get their contraception from providers that do not offer abortion, such as Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHCs). Some counselors keep lists of local FHQCs. There are actually 25 FHQCs in the San Francisco area alone.
  3. I let them know that life-affirming clinics like PRCs often offer health care services like STD tests and pregnancy tests.

What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?

  1. Economic concerns
  2. Tumultuous and dysfunctional relationships
  3. Educational concerns (primarily among younger women)

Do you have ongoing relationships with any of the women you have met at the sidewalk? If so, what are those like?

No, but I know this is very common. Often women who choose life will be in touch with PRCs for several years to come.

Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

Yes. It has been almost universally negative. Everything from them playing loud music and erecting large barriers, calling the cops unjustifiably, threatening with non-existent buffer zone laws, taking my picture without my consent, etc.

Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?

I find this to be patently absurd. I have only seen pro-life women being harassed, yelled at, cursed at on the sidewalk. While it is true that are clips of people doing this sort of thing in 1980s and 1990s, this behavior has almost entirely fallen away. The most common sight at the sidewalk is harmless middle-aged Catholic women.

What do you think of buffer zone laws? Has your work been impacted by such laws?

Buffer zone laws are blatantly unconstitutional. If they were consistently applied for all political topics, they would severely restrict all forms of speech and activism. As such, even a lot of passionately pro-choice people should oppose buffer zone laws.

I’ve never had my speech restricted but I have been threatened by escorts with nonexistent buffer zones. Another time I encountered some ridiculous doublespeak from the San Francisco Police Department. They began our interaction by claiming that “buffer zones are unconstitutional” and then proceeded to cite a city ordinance (which was a buffer zone in all but name) and threaten us with a citation. We promptly called the bluff, and nothing happened to us.

Pro-Life San Francisco actually maintains access to legal assistance in case there’s a problem, but I find that if they try to cite us and we threaten action, they usually back down because the law is already on our side.

What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

You shouldn’t feel guilty if you decide not to do it. There are many ways you can help women in need. If you are going to counsel and you’re a man, I would suggest making sure a female counselor is also there. But overall I think it is a great way to see the movement in action and help women in your community.

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

Be a brand ambassador for your local PRC. Distribute their contact info everywhere: community poster boards, campuses, restrooms, gas stations, anywhere and everywhere helps. Attend annual fundraising dinners at local PRCs and donate. Help your local campus student group; they are often the best contact for the 18-24 age group where nearly 40% of abortions occur.

What do you believe the pro-life movement is getting right? What do you believe could be better?

The pro-life movement is doing an excellent job of providing a peaceful, compassionate, consistent, and nearly ubiquitous presence at abortion clinics throughout the country. However, too often well-meaning counselors mix their evangelization with their sidewalk work. The simple fact is that many secular women are on the fence about getting an abortion but not on the fence about premarital sex, contraception, and cohabitation. The stakes are too high for a potentially off-putting overtly religious approach, at least at the outset. Choosing life is a life-altering decision, and we are most effective when we focus on that specific issue and take care not to spend energy on other issues that may be major differences between the women and the counselors they’re speaking to.

Read more interviews:
Sidewalk counseling training resources:

Interview with a secular sidewalk counselor

Interviewer’s note: People who aren’t involved in the pro-life movement—and even some within it—tend to believe that those standing outside abortion clinics are there to shame and frighten women seeking abortion. Videos of street “preachers” screaming at everyone tend to be much more viral than depictions of people quietly holding signs offering resources. I’m interested in shining more light on the latter group. 

From what I’ve seen, the people waiting peacefully outside clinics to offer help (referred to in pro-life circles as “sidewalk counselors”) are particularly brave and compassionate. In my experience they also tend to be particularly devout Christians. I was therefore happy to get an opportunity to interview one of Secular Pro-Life’s own, Nick Reynosa, on what it’s like for an agnostic to sidewalk counsel.

Before we begin, Nick asked that I clarify that while he sidewalk counsels when he has the chance, he doesn’t counsel on a consistent basis the way some do. He didn’t want to give the false impression that he has devoted the same time and energy as some of his trainers and friends have, although he has enjoyed the experience and will continue to counsel when he has the opportunities.


(Nick in the upper right.)

How did you get started sidewalk counseling? What draws you to the sidewalk compared to other types of pro-life work?

My campus pro-life club (through Students for Life of America) went to the sidewalk once or twice a week. In my area of northern California, Students for Life and 40 Days for Life formed a natural partnership such that about a half dozen people would counsel regularly.

So through the pro-life club I started sidewalk counseling in Sacramento in 2011. After I left the sidewalk during one of my very first visits, the other counselors saved three babies in a single day! So that was a fortunate and very encouraging beginning.

Sidewalk counseling is a great way to help women at the one-on-one level. Often pro-lifers are discouraged by a seeming lack of political progress, but the individual victories at the sidewalk can be encouraging. You really see how you can make a difference. Also sidewalk counseling helps you get to know the flesh and blood members of the pro-life movement, which serves as a powerful contrast to the stereotypes the media portrays.

What does your work entail? Describe an average day of sidewalk counseling.

I try to create a peaceful presence and provide women materials and references to local pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) (usually located in close proximity to the clinic). Not all pro-lifers at the sidewalk necessarily talk to the women; conversations are usually reserved for more experienced (and usually female) counselors. The rest of us keep a general presence, often holding signs with information, being eyes and ears in case there are any altercations, getting water or snacks for the group, and sometimes providing more security than one or two female counselors might have alone. Many of the counselors who aren’t interacting directly with the women approaching the clinic take the time to pray instead, though of course that’s not something I do personally.

Typically at least some of the women accept our information. Nearly always some passersby will hurl profanity or flip the bird. It’s common to hear street preachers mix evangelization with sidewalk counseling. It’s also common for clinic escorts to play loud music or put up barriers like tarps in order to block the women’s view of the counselors.

What are the most difficult aspects of this work, and how do you handle those?

By far the hardest part is being a man. Successful male counselors are unicorns. Pregnancy is an intimate, personal, and deeply feminine experience. Often women associate their situation with their sex lives and this association make establishing trust and comfort with a man more difficult. Women going to the clinic often seem to feel more comfortable talking with other women, so if possible, I defer to the female counselor present.

However there are some circumstances in which it’s helpful to have a male counselor. For some women, interacting with a man who cares about what they’re going through can be a refreshing experience. And for some, having male counselors there makes them feel safe from an abusive situation. Additionally, men sometimes accompany the women in their lives to abortion appointments and end up waiting outside. Some of them find it helpful to talk to male counselors about the experience.

Do you hand out literature? If so, what is it about?

Yes, usually basic information about abortion and marketing materials for local PRCs. If you’re going to sidewalk counsel, I would recommend you read through these materials before you start handing them to people. Make sure you understand and agree with what you’re telling others. Some publications are particularly religious, or anti-sex or anti-contraception. Not all pro-lifers agree with those views. Usually, though, the reading material is straightforward, honest, harmless, and very helpful.

Do you refer people to local services? If so, what types or services? Provided by whom?

Yes, I usually refer to local PRCs, primarily for pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and counseling. I try to send them to the closest PRC with the highest level of medical services. It’s also common for counselors to refer to maternity homes.

It’s my impression most sidewalk counselors are fairly devoutly religious, but you’re an agnostic. How does being a secular person intersect with sidewalk counseling? Does it hinder you in any ways? Help you in others?

I think being secular can be very helpful when you’re speaking to women, because you’re presenting life-affirming resources that are religiously neutral and unlikely to come off as anti-contraception or anti-sex. I think female secular sidewalk counselors have the greatest potential of any demographic to connect with women at the clinic.

But being non-religious can be negative in two ways: (1) People tend to assume all of us at the sidewalk are from the same group or all together, which means if someone evangelizes at the sidewalk I’m held liable for everything they say, despite agreeing with probably very little of it. (2) If and when religious sidewalk counselors find out I’m agnostic, some feel the need to evangelize to me. They often believe that without faith in God, a person cannot believe in or access objective morality, and so they find a secular pro-life worldview nonsensical, and they want to debate it.

While I don’t especially want to be evangelized to, I do admire the honesty. Sometimes Christian pro-lifers will be happy to have a secular person around to show that this is not a purely religious issue, but then the same people will argue that secular morality is impossible. I’m glad to get along well with religious allies, but if they really do think my worldview is foolish, I’d rather they be honest about it than placate or tokenize me.

Overall I think the fact that I’m at the sidewalk is encouraging to some but also causes cognitive dissonance for others.

How do you respond to people who say they are at the clinic for reasons other than abortion?

I say three things:

  1. I’m sorry if they felt we were making an assumption about why they were there. We’re just trying to provide options to women in difficult situations.
  2. If they are there for contraception services, I recommend they get their contraception from providers that do not offer abortion, such as Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHCs). Some counselors keep lists of local FHQCs. There are actually 25 FHQCs in the San Francisco area alone.
  3. I let them know that life-affirming clinics like PRCs often offer health care services like STD tests and pregnancy tests.

What are some of the most common circumstances women describe that brought them to the clinic?

  1. Economic concerns
  2. Tumultuous and dysfunctional relationships
  3. Educational concerns (primarily among younger women)

Do you have ongoing relationships with any of the women you have met at the sidewalk? If so, what are those like?

No, but I know this is very common. Often women who choose life will be in touch with PRCs for several years to come.

Do you interact with clinic staff? If so, what has that been like?

Yes. It has been almost universally negative. Everything from them playing loud music and erecting large barriers, calling the cops unjustifiably, threatening with non-existent buffer zone laws, taking my picture without my consent, etc.

Many people believe that sidewalk counselors primarily try to shame and intimidate women. How do you respond to that idea?

I find this to be patently absurd. I have only seen pro-life women being harassed, yelled at, cursed at on the sidewalk. While it is true that are clips of people doing this sort of thing in 1980s and 1990s, this behavior has almost entirely fallen away. The most common sight at the sidewalk is harmless middle-aged Catholic women.

What do you think of buffer zone laws? Has your work been impacted by such laws?

Buffer zone laws are blatantly unconstitutional. If they were consistently applied for all political topics, they would severely restrict all forms of speech and activism. As such, even a lot of passionately pro-choice people should oppose buffer zone laws.

I’ve never had my speech restricted but I have been threatened by escorts with nonexistent buffer zones. Another time I encountered some ridiculous doublespeak from the San Francisco Police Department. They began our interaction by claiming that “buffer zones are unconstitutional” and then proceeded to cite a city ordinance (which was a buffer zone in all but name) and threaten us with a citation. We promptly called the bluff, and nothing happened to us.

Pro-Life San Francisco actually maintains access to legal assistance in case there’s a problem, but I find that if they try to cite us and we threaten action, they usually back down because the law is already on our side.

What advice would you give someone interested in sidewalk counseling?

You shouldn’t feel guilty if you decide not to do it. There are many ways you can help women in need. If you are going to counsel and you’re a man, I would suggest making sure a female counselor is also there. But overall I think it is a great way to see the movement in action and help women in your community.

What advice do you have for people who don’t sidewalk counsel but still want to help women with crisis pregnancies?

Be a brand ambassador for your local PRC. Distribute their contact info everywhere: community poster boards, campuses, restrooms, gas stations, anywhere and everywhere helps. Attend annual fundraising dinners at local PRCs and donate. Help your local campus student group; they are often the best contact for the 18-24 age group where nearly 40% of abortions occur.

What do you believe the pro-life movement is getting right? What do you believe could be better?

The pro-life movement is doing an excellent job of providing a peaceful, compassionate, consistent, and nearly ubiquitous presence at abortion clinics throughout the country. However, too often well-meaning counselors mix their evangelization with their sidewalk work. The simple fact is that many secular women are on the fence about getting an abortion but not on the fence about premarital sex, contraception, and cohabitation. The stakes are too high for a potentially off-putting overtly religious approach, at least at the outset. Choosing life is a life-altering decision, and we are most effective when we focus on that specific issue and take care not to spend energy on other issues that may be major differences between the women and the counselors they’re speaking to.

Read more interviews:
Sidewalk counseling training resources:

Pro-life work while sheltering in place

If you find yourself with more time and less mobility than usual, here are some ways you can keep doing pro-life work:

1. Increase our own knowledge. We asked our followers what books and film/TV shows—whether giving a pro-life or pro-choice perspective—have informed their perspectives of the abortion debate. Below are partial lists, but you can read all of the book suggestions here and film/TV suggestions here.

Books/other reading:

  1. Abortion Rites: A Social History of Abortion in America – Marvin Olasky
  2. Bearing Right – Will Saletan
  3. Defenders of the Unborn: The Pro-Life Movement before Roe v. Wade – Daniel Williams
  4. The Ethics of Abortion – Christopher Kaczor
  5. Our Bodies, Our Souls – Naomi Wolf
  6. Roe v. Wade – text of the Court’s decision
  7. Stuck: A Complete Guide To Answering Questions About Abortion – Justina van Manen
  8. The Unaborted Socrates – Peter Kreeft
  9. The Walls Are Talking – Abby Johnson
  10. Why Pro-Life – Randy Alcorn
Film/TV shows:
  1. Arrival
  2. Bella
  3. Call the Midwife
  4. The Giver
  5. Gosnell
  6. Juno
  7. October Baby
  8. A Quiet Place
  9. The Silent Scream
  10. Unplanned
  11. Waitress
(You might get more ideas from the many pro-life movie quotes we’ve collected.)
2. Donate to organizations on the front lines. We asked our followers which organizations can directly help pregnant and newly parenting people. If you prefer to go local, quick online searching should turn up pregnancy resource centers in your area. Meanwhile below is a partial list of follower suggestions, and here are the full responses. (Note: as of 3/27/20 all of the following orgs were still open.)
  1. Abide Women’s Health Services (Texas) — They have a COVID-19-based Amazon wish list.
  2. Ava Care of Harrisonburg (Virginia)
  3. The Crossing of Manitowoc County (Wisconsin)
  4. Diaper Bank of the Ozarks (Missouri)
  5. Expect Hope (New York City)
  6. Good Counsel Homes (New Jersey) 
  7. The Life House (Nebraska)
  8. Safe Families for Children (multiple locations)
  9. Sisters of Life (New York City) — Amazon baby registry
3. Do online work. We asked our followers for other ways to help while sheltering in place. Read the full responses here but below are some ideas:
  1. Promote pro-life content on social media (like, comment, and share)
  2. Write a guest blog post for Secular Pro-Life!
  3. Educate yourself on local resources for mothers (assistance with rent or utilities, food, diapers, access to health care and education, etc.) Keep a list for reference.
  4. Contact your favorite pro-life orgs and ask them if they have any online volunteer opportunities. You never know who needs a translator, editor, web designer, graphic artist, database manager, etc.
Read more:
The Top 8 Pro-Life Things To Do During Coronavirus – Students for Life of America

Pro-life work while sheltering in place

If you find yourself with more time and less mobility than usual, here are some ways you can keep doing pro-life work:

1. Increase our own knowledge. We asked our followers what books and film/TV shows—whether giving a pro-life or pro-choice perspective—have informed their perspectives of the abortion debate. Below are partial lists, but you can read all of the book suggestions here and film/TV suggestions here.

Books/other reading:

  1. Abortion Rites: A Social History of Abortion in America – Marvin Olasky
  2. Bearing Right – Will Saletan
  3. Defenders of the Unborn: The Pro-Life Movement before Roe v. Wade – Daniel Williams
  4. The Ethics of Abortion – Christopher Kaczor
  5. Our Bodies, Our Souls – Naomi Wolf
  6. Roe v. Wade – text of the Court’s decision
  7. Stuck: A Complete Guide To Answering Questions About Abortion – Justina van Manen
  8. The Unaborted Socrates – Peter Kreeft
  9. The Walls Are Talking – Abby Johnson
  10. Why Pro-Life – Randy Alcorn
Film/TV shows:
  1. Arrival
  2. Bella
  3. Call the Midwife
  4. The Giver
  5. Gosnell
  6. Juno
  7. October Baby
  8. A Quiet Place
  9. The Silent Scream
  10. Unplanned
  11. Waitress
(You might get more ideas from the many pro-life movie quotes we’ve collected.)
2. Donate to organizations on the front lines. We asked our followers which organizations can directly help pregnant and newly parenting people. If you prefer to go local, quick online searching should turn up pregnancy resource centers in your area. Meanwhile below is a partial list of follower suggestions, and here are the full responses. (Note: as of 3/27/20 all of the following orgs were still open.)
  1. Abide Women’s Health Services (Texas) — They have a COVID-19-based Amazon wish list.
  2. Ava Care of Harrisonburg (Virginia)
  3. The Crossing of Manitowoc County (Wisconsin)
  4. Diaper Bank of the Ozarks (Missouri)
  5. Expect Hope (New York City)
  6. Good Counsel Homes (New Jersey) 
  7. The Life House (Nebraska)
  8. Safe Families for Children (multiple locations)
  9. Sisters of Life (New York City) — Amazon baby registry
3. Do online work. We asked our followers for other ways to help while sheltering in place. Read the full responses here but below are some ideas:
  1. Promote pro-life content on social media (like, comment, and share)
  2. Write a guest blog post for Secular Pro-Life!
  3. Educate yourself on local resources for mothers (assistance with rent or utilities, food, diapers, access to health care and education, etc.) Keep a list for reference.
  4. Contact your favorite pro-life orgs and ask them if they have any online volunteer opportunities. You never know who needs a translator, editor, web designer, graphic artist, database manager, etc.
Read more:
The Top 8 Pro-Life Things To Do During Coronavirus – Students for Life of America

Interview: How Gabriela became a sidewalk counselor outside the clinic where she had her abortion

I met Gabriela recently through Secular Pro-Life. I asked her if she had always been pro-life, and when she said no, I asked her what brought her to our side. Her story moved me, and she gave me permission to share it through an interview. – Monica


How long were you
pro-choice? What were the main reasons you were pro-choice? 
I was pro-choice for
as long as I can remember. It’s funny: I don’t remember the exact moment I
first heard the word “abortion” or learned what it was; I just
remember always supporting it. Even though I grew up Catholic and went to a
Catholic high school, I don’t remember it ever really being mentioned. But
honestly I was pro-choice mainly because I never wanted children. And it just
seemed logical to me that if you don’t want kids, you would support abortion.
It didn’t make sense to be pregnant for nine months only to give the kid to
someone else.
Tell me about your
abortion. What led you to that decision? 
The part that gets
me most about my abortion is that I had an IUD (intrauterine device), so none
of this was supposed to happen. I had a Paragard (copper) IUD, which is
supposedly 99.7% effective, and yet approximately six months after the IUD was
inserted, I got pregnant. My ultrasound appointment showed that the IUD was
exactly where it was supposed to be—it didn’t fall out or embed in the uterus;
it just didn’t work. I decided to have an abortion out of pure panic: I was terrified. I had intended to prevent pregnancy, and I wasn’t planning on
this, so an abortion just seemed like the logical choice.
How did you feel
about it after? 
The moment after my
abortion, I felt relief. The day after, I felt a despair and hopelessness and
horror at what I had done unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life.
It’s still hard to talk about.
What did you do to
try to get support and heal? 
In order to try and
heal, I named my child. I also participated in a retreat with Rachel’s Vineyard, a Catholic
post-abortion recovery group that I found through my church bulletin. I tried therapy for a couple sessions, and then I joined a local sidewalk advocate group, which I found out about through a nearby crisis pregnancy center. After that, I was able to get a copy of my ultrasound picture, which I framed.
All of these methods
helped in some way, and I basically did them one after the other. Naming my child
and framing his ultrasound picture were important because those gestures acknowledged his humanity.
Though it was too early to determine the gender of my unborn child, I just
knew he was a boy. The retreat helped because it made me realize I wasn’t
alone, and it provided the participants
 little mementos to honor our unborn children. Therapy kind of
helped,
 but I needed something more. 

Being a sidewalk advocate really helped because I could actually do something
useful, rather than just wallow in regret. 
Sidewalk advocacy has helped me process my abortion by providing me an opportunity to use my story for good. I wish, more than anything, that someone had been on the sidewalk when I went to get my abortion. I now want to be that person for others, and hopefully prevent other women and unborn babies from going through what I and my unborn child went through. A couple of months after I started, a young woman told me that years ago she was about about to get an abortion but someone was on the sidewalk so she changed her mind. Her baby is now 3 years old.

Did you know the
sidewalk counselors before you started working alongside them? 
Before I joined the group, I didn’t know anything about them, but I wanted to
join a group that I knew valued unborn children and shared my newfound pro-life
beliefs.
Did you tell them
your story? If so, what were their reactions? 
I have told them and they are very supportive of me. They
think it can really change people’s hearts to hear about my regret,
particularly because I am now an advocate outside the abortion facility where I
received my abortion.
Are you close to
people who are pro-choice (friends, family, etc.)? What are those relationships
like? 
I am close with
people who are pro-choice, and the relationships are fine because we just don’t
talk about my abortion. Only a few people know, and they responded without
judgment. But overall I just don’t really
talk about it much with those I know.

If you could say anything to yourself years ago, what advice would you give? If I could say something to my younger self, I’m telling you she would not have listened! In all seriousness, I think the best way to change a pro-choicer’s mindset is to ask some simple questions: If a pregnant woman is murdered, should the perpetrator be charged with one murder or two, and why? If you’re in a burning building and have to choose between saving a pregnant woman or saving a woman who isn’t pregnant,  who would you save and why? If it’s the woman’s choice, is it okay for a woman to use abortion as birth control? If not, what’s not okay about it? These pointed questions might have made me question my pro-choice stance a lot earlier, which in turn could have saved my child’s life.